REPLY #1 TO
are parts of the original essay (or a subsequent reply) to which the respondent has directed his comments.
prefaced by (R) are those of the respondent and are presented unedited.
My replies appear under the respondent's comments in blue text
and are prefaced by my initials (MB)
(R) Well, let me think about this for a second....or maybe two.I am in total agreement with you concerning learning your partners "buttons" and am more than willing to push them when the time is right.
(MB) I feel that this is the key to a great experience. Too many people draw arbitrary limits concerning what they "will" or "will not" do. Too often, those same people will only do things because they feel obligated.
I think this comes from the unfortunate "taboo" stigma that our society seems determined to indoctrinate us with about sex when we are growing up. Even on "hot" TV shows, one rarely sees a depiction of steamy sex that doesn't have some hint of "sleaze" associated with it. How many times have we heard "if it feels good, it must be bad"?
(R) Sometimes, nothing is more erotic than a well placed "nibble" on the back of your partners neck.( or maybe the back above the shoulders) *grin*
(MB) Light, soft touches are often *very* stimulating. They also deliver a promise of more to come, so a level of excited anticipation is produced. I think that most people would rather not feel as though they were being assaulted while having sex. Can't speak for the whips-and-chains crowd, though...*grin*
(R) If the act of eroticism is secret or taboo(say in public for example)...then the fire seems to increase to the raging point.
(MB) Again, this contributes to the overall excitement level at the time. This might be the only beneficial side-effect of the misguided notion that one "shouldn't be doing that in the first place".
(R) Sometimes however....the most arousing thing someone can do in simply touching the small of his partners back while walking her to her car.
(MB) It should be similar for anything that shows that you care about your partner rather than that you're only interested in "getting some".