REPLY #7 TO
"LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS"
are parts of the original essay (or a subsequent reply) to which the respondent has directed his comments.
prefaced by (R) are those of the respondent and are presented unedited.
My replies appear under the respondent's comments in blue text
and are prefaced by my initials (MB)
(R) I choose to honor and respect my husband for many reasons, but the one that I think
you could relate to is that I chose him.
(MB) Almost all married couples can say the same thing. Unfortunately, it can't be denied that people occasionally make choices that turn out to be bad ones. One should always have the opportunity to correct a mistake.
(R) If I decided now to treat him with disrespect and give no thought as to his
well-being, does that mean that I was intellectually insufficient when I was
choosing a mate?
(MB) No, that just means that things change over time for any number of reasons. If something breaks, you should either fix it or discard it.
(R) I also feel I need to honor my wedding vows. (The same ones you recited, if you
(MB) That's because you apparently treat marriage as a religious rite while I do not. If you read the Old Testament, you'll find numerous stories depicting bigamy, polygamy, adultery, incest, rape, divorce and other sorts of marital, pre-marital, and extra-marital shenanigans being committed by many of the OT's "heroes" -- including David, the King about whom is written, "David did that which was right in the eyes of the Lord" (1 Kings 15:5) and "...evil hath not been found in thee all thy days" (1 Sam. 25:28).
(R) I figure myself to be a pretty honest and honorable person and I didn't stop
being that for the 15 seconds it took for me to swear that I would honor and
respect my husband for the rest of my life (or his).
(MB) There's no reason to suspect otherwise. There's also no reason not to think that almost everybody who goes to the altar feels the same way at that moment.
(R) With the way you feel about marriage, I'm very curious as to why you ever entered in
to one at all.
(MB) For all the same reasons that anybody else does it (except the religious aspect, of course). There are numerous advantages to marriage in our society. This goes for anybody regardless of their religious views.