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MARK L. BAKKE'S
 Return to "Love and Relationships" essay Back to Philosophy page Please feel free to E-mail me with your own comments on this issue or on anything else included in my Philosophy of Life section. Debate is good!
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REPLY #2 TO
"LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS"
Boldfaced statements are parts of the original essay (or a subsequent reply) to which the respondent has directed his comments.
 Italicized/emphasized comments prefaced by (R) are those of the respondent and are presented unedited. My replies appear under the respondent's comments in blue text and are prefaced by my initials (MB). (R) although i agree with the majority of what you have said here. i would like to raise the point that perhaps a reason for people haveing having unhappy marriages is that in the developing stages of courtship the relationship was primarily based on physical on not on the mental side of things. i feel that a relationship which has its foudation based on the physical is doomed from the start. (MB) I'd say that your assessment is essentially correct for the majority of cases. While I feel that there must be physical attraction present for any relationship to get started, there must be a lot more than that present for it to continue. Even with that, time tends to have adverse affects. The longer a relationship continues, the more likely it is that certain behaviors and/or habits of one's partner will become increasingly annoying. These things may not have been noticed or may even have been ignored early on in the relationship, but will come out later on. Also, people change over time and may not change for the better. (R) perhaps we need to look at ourselves and try, no matter how hard, to abstain for the first few months from having sex. people should try and base their relationships on friendship. isnt that what marriage should be? a relationship of friendship, 'everlasting.' (MB) One doesn't need marriage to have strong and lasting relationships based upon friendship (or on sex, for that matter). If one really looks at it, the only real "need" for marriage is based on legal or social considerations. In reality, marriage is little more than a contract between two people that just makes it more difficult for them to go their separate ways if and when they would decide to end their relationship. (R) upon reading this over i find it full of mistakes, and put together rather badly, but i am only 18 and maybe my views are idealistic, i know this and perhaps with age, and maturity my views will change. (MB) You have legitimate concerns and it is heartening to hear that you are giving them some serious thought. More than anything, people get into trouble when they act without thinking. While nothing guarantees that you will make the right choice or that an initial "right choice" won't eventually turn sour, you will greatly improve your chances of success if you think first. I'd say that you are on the right track.
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