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MARK L. BAKKE'S
 Return to "Love and Relationships" essay Back to Philosophy page Please feel free to E-mail me with your own comments on this issue or on anything else included in my Philosophy of Life section. Debate is good!
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REPLY #5 TO
"LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS"
Boldfaced statements are parts of the original essay (or a subsequent reply) to which the respondent has directed his comments.
 Italicized/emphasized comments prefaced by (R) are those of the respondent and are presented unedited. My replies appear under the respondent's comments in blue text and are prefaced by my initials (MB). (R) First of all I admire your courage to in trying to put some reason about love and marriage. Thats a really touchy subject depending largely on one's own experience and perception. I've been trying to put up webpage with the same theme and I'm still working on it. Hopefully I would get a lot of feed back. (MB) Since it's a subject that we must all become directly involved with at some point in our lives, everybody should have some sort of opinion about it. Unfortunately, a lot of those opinions end up being forced onto people by their religion or by their social group(s). Given the numbers of bad marriages and relationships and general hangups, I'd say that the traditional ways of dealing with the subject are an abject failure. (R) Anyway as a response to your essay, there is some truth in there somewhere. (MB) That's generally what I hope to achieve...*grin* (R) I don't know if you have been married or still are. (MB) My wife probably still thinks that I am...*ugh* (R) Base on my own experience I believe that love in a marriage goes beyond human reasoning. To truly love someone, one must deny one's own reasoning, then and only then one can truly love another. The problem with most marriages right now is that most individual are not willing to deny one's principles in life to really understand where the other person is coming from. We listen to respond not to understand. The word love by itself is pure of any reasoning. It can not be define by bounderies. Its not a sacrifice of ones life either but a committment to the spiritual well being of another. (MB) Love, as they say, may be "blind", but I don't think that this necessarily means that one must abandon reason to find love. On the contrary, I think that the best and strongest love must come from the application of reason. In other words, one must know *why* they love another person if there's to be much hope of it enduring. When someone abandons their own principles for the sake of love, that may work for the short term. But, is that a good thing? Should one be other than they truly are just for the sake of love? And, if they do so, won't there always be nagging doubts, insecurities, and uneasyness about it? Why not be yourself totally and wait for the person to come along who will be willing to love you for who you really are? That's the person with whom one could have a truly solid and long-lasting relationship.
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