Last Update: 26 Feb 00
Return to "Adultery" essay
REPLY #10 TO
(R) I am reading through this piece on Adultery. Questions and answers. Black, white, gray.....whatever. You can take almost any point on this topic and view it from 360 different angles.
(MB) Exactly...and that's the whole point. I'm hoping to show that simple moral declarations are insufficient to address these questions.
(R) I've been through this with my husband. I have my own experience. Each situation is different. My experience lead me into some specific angles on adultery. My husband's angle on it has changed a great deal.
(MB) It's interesting how many people's moral views tend to change radically once they are actually faced with a real situation. I think that this points out the insufficiency of morality alone as judge and jury. Each situation must be considered on its own merits and circumstances.
(R) I am currently writing a book about this experience. Not to be didactic, other than to point out what happened, what we went through, and what we discovered. This comes out of 10 years of marriage, a 4 month affair, 10 months of counseling, and a year of writing.
(MB) I think that most people can benefit from the honest experiences of others. Perhaps, your book will be food for thought for others who may find themselves in a similar situation.
(R) For me, it has been hard to unhinge from the anger and hurt enough to see the truth. For him, it has been difficult to face the real reasons for his actions. Not a pretty picture. We took his act of double adultery and ground it out in order to see the real grit of this experience as it pertains to us alone. In doing so we are touching on some universality.....things to share.
(MB) Excellent! Too many people simply give up when faced with adversity. It takes personal strength to maintain presence of mind. I can't see but where this can only help your relationship.
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